How to avoid getting cancer

Diagnosis cancer: The first question that comes to your mind is why. Why me? I’ve always lived an healthy lifestyle, ate clean, did a lot of sports, never smoked, barely drank alcohol. How is that even possible?

Online you will find the weirdest reasons for cancer. The exact causes are still not found, but with these advices you should be fine:

1. Throw away all your electronical devices
Electrosmog is a super current topic. Feng Shui experts have been aware of that since a long time already. Throw away your cell phone, your laptop, turn out all the light bulbs and never use your fridge again.

2. Buy some letter pigeons
Now that you are cut off from your environment and social media, buy some letter pigeons to communicate. Of course they will take longer than WhatsApp etc., but you will be able to stick with advice number 1.

3. Avoid smokers
Do not only avoid passive smoking, but smokers in general! Never get closer to a smoker than 10 meters. And if you really have to, try to hold your breath. This will make your social environment smaller, but it’s worth it, isn’t it?

4. Dietary change
Only eat fruits and vegetables. If possible only buy products from organic farming. Only eat them raw or lightly steamed. Definitely avoid roasting with oil and never wash your food with tap water. Additionally take a lot of dietary supplements, so you don’t miss out on anything. Totally pass on sugar!

5. Liquid
Drink more than you should to every day! Banish juices, coffee, alcohol and softdrinks from your life. Never drink anything else than glacier water from Himalayas.

6. Sports
Sports are good for your blood flow and cardiovascular system. That’s why you should do at least 6 hours of yoga or pilates every day. On top of that go on a 15km run every morning and evening.

7. Anti-Smog
Stay away from smog and exhaust. Sell your car and only go by bike. Of course never use the main road, always drive country lanes. You should only get close to cities if it’s an emergency. Preferably you should move to arctis.

8. No sun
You should also avoid direct sunlight, to increase the chance of getting skin cancer. Buy black curtains and only leave the house at night.

9. Relaxation
Banish stress from your life! Sleep at least 8 hours a day, but never more than 10. If you get stressed at your job, quit immediately. Cut off people who are not always happy and never read news about Trump.

10. General
Never watch the movie „Sharknado“ and don’t dare to ignore chain letters. I mean, they even warn you about it.

So, good luck with that and send me a letter pigeon to tell me about your experiences.

Peace and #fuckcancer,